Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
Randomize
