You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Randomize
