escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
I don't want my vagina anymore.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
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