do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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