put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
Threesome in a minivan. New low
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
