I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Randomize
