Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
