so that wasnt chicken after all
Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize
