At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Randomize
