Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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