I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
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