I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
I just want nice things and good sex
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
Randomize
