bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
Randomize
