this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
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