I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
Randomize
