TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize
