He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Randomize
