I don't usually arrange sex via text message
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
