this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
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