Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
Randomize
