Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
