he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Randomize
