She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
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