Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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