U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Randomize
