TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
they're like a gay fantastic four
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
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