if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
Randomize
