what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
Randomize
