In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
