HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Randomize
