the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
Yo dont text me then not text me
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Randomize
