i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
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