I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
