Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
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