Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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