Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
I forgot wine drunk hurts
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
