yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
