She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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