I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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