this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
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