you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
Randomize
