As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
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