Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
Randomize
