Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Randomize
