I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
