i just ordered a pitcher of margaritas for me and a friend but she called and canceled. oh well, looks like im getting trashed alone.
the waiter who hardly speaks english told me "i go get your medicine now"
this medicine is soooo good.
i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
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