I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
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