So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
Randomize
