you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
