That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
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