the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
Randomize
