Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
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